you're not going to slow it down

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 13:11:32 GMT

I feel like i'm only now getting out of the trench the end of last year left me in but I am slowly workin' on fanfic. I think I'm going to focus on getting shit OFF the backburner for nano this year and out into the world. All things considered, Primogeniture should be done by then and maybe I'll have handled a decent chunk of pale horse so it'll be:

-Pale Horse
-Rocinante
-Occurian Remains part 2 (i've been hella nostalgic for this since playing ff16)
-Horse Girl Summer
-Generational Trauma FFX fic
-Moon Kingdom Era fic that is only an excuse for me to write shitennou orgies tbqh
-Primogeniture if I'm a total fucking slacker which isn't out of the cards.

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Sun, 30 Oct 2022 14:43:07 GMT

I was pretty productive as a writer in 2020 and 2021, but I feel l like this third year of pandemic disaster hour has really squashed me flat, creatively. I know everyone goes through cycles of content>in/content>out (if they're a creative type anyway), but man this year I concepted a bunch of different things and wrote exactly none of them, nor did I finish editing my original work. I went through like nine different possibilities for Nanowrimo this year and have structure notes for all of them, so I'm hoping if the one I settled on just refuses to cooperate I can maybe get a leg up on one of the others? I'm starting to finally get some fanfic ideas (Nobody's Cat kicked my ass, it was so long in development and I got real crunchy into timing and timeline...) again, but I'm trying to put them off till AFTER nanowrimo.

Since I can't work and hit deadlines for other projects in November, I've signed up to pinch hit a couple of places. I've been the person that gets nothing at the end of those exchanges way more times than is right or proper, so ultimately I've decided to stop asking for anything for myself, put my head down, and make sure everyone gets something. 'Cause outside of POI fandom, which is always very good to each other, it kind of SUCKS to reach the end and get nothing. I would rather make someone else's day with no expectation of return than be let down on that expectation, so that's where I am.

Ideas on the block:

-Disco Elysium 2nd Person fic (FINALLY a fandom I can second person in shamelessly, hee hee hort)

-Juno Steel Jet-Centric fic.

I've been blessed to have my tastes perfectly flattered more and more often recently with gay detective content that appeals to all my tickyboxes

On the upside, I did OK in inktober this year, and I've produced what I'd call a reasonable amount of art.

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Gearing up for Nanowrimo

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 02:43:37 GMT

every other format of social media is such a mess this year I'm going to keep my thoughts together over here.

Working on an original work/bondsverse piece this year.

All I have left to do is finish a rough outline of deities and then I should be ready to jump in.

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Sun, 09 Jan 2022 04:26:11 GMT

-Finished the live action cowboy bebop novel (yuck.)

-Started Musashi, which I've knocked about 10 hours off of already. Digging this one.

Goal last year was 12 books, then revised to 20, then 25, I finally finished out at 23--Nanowrimo always stops my reading cold. Goal this year is 12 again, but I'm betting I'll make that early and revise again.

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Go, go faster wider more, more get it down yeah dance

Sat, 11 Dec 2021 19:04:00 GMT

Hey I finally completed some stuff--

All That Remains
Lupin III OT5 polyamory

Shameless Canadian Shack (on a boat) fic.

~25k words

Any Road
FFXII Basch/Balthier
A/B/O Archades AU where Basch & Noah both became judges.
~10k words

Nobody's Cat
Cowboy Bebop (animated) Julia/Vicious/Spike w/other combinations
Syndicate era longfic. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat themes.
Not quite finished, at least 60k words.

OW3 also got finished last month, at least as far as draft 1.5. I'm going to redraft at least once before it hits the editor. Hit 50k on the 22nd as usual, then blasted on by--wound up at about 120k worth of writing/transcription for the month.

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Wed, 10 Nov 2021 23:55:44 GMT

So, it's nanowrimo time. I'm writing a frigging monster of a Cowboy Bebop Vicious/Spike/Julia Syndicate Era fic that no one is going to care about, but hey, it's been living in my brain for years. With the LA coming out (yeah, I'm not that hot for it either) I have just enough spite for my body to demand I write it.

If I'm fucking right about things I want to be right BEFORE the live action is god damn it. As I've written (approx) 25k in 10 days spite is a powerful motivator.

[Edit: My fic will join the hallowed halls of 17 others on ao3 so this is the rarest of rare pairs in the oldest of old fandoms. Just my style.]

I concepted approximately seven things for this year's nanowrimo, so I guess if I finish before the end of the month I'll just work on one of the other items on my docket. Then into the new year doing a fresh edit of that original work I finished this year. Trucking onward.

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Sat, 19 Jun 2021 21:22:23 GMT

So just a short list for my own sanity--Things unfinished that I want to finish:
-OW3
-All That Remains (so close! just needs discipline)
-Roque Guinart
-Original Short Story m/m police reform sci fi
-Snow After Fire 2

On the Docket (concepted, not yet started)
-Occurian Remains 2
-Generational FFX fic about Braska's pilgrimage
-OW4-onward

Things I'm tooling with but don't have "time" for (because I am so slow/procrastinating on other works)
-Toshinori Yagi is a Dragon AU
-Eraser/mic/might fic eventually?
-Cobra Kai Due South Au where Mr. Miyagi's ghost lives in Daniel's closet

I did GREAT last year and even completed Nanowrimo without issue. This year has been a series of compounding crises and even though I'm home more I've been less able to discipline myself into writing. I have managed to replay a few games that I've been wanting to, and currently the playthrough of FFX is generating a lot of notes for what I hope will be my Nanowrimo the end of this year (PROVIDED I can finish the 1/3 completed third book in my series that I should be focusing on; fanfic doesn't feed me, but hot damn it's fun).

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Fri, 19 Jun 2020 00:50:28 GMT

Hey dudes, I know I know, long time no post but... Y'all should check out the amazing offerings on the 2020 Exchange of Interest. And leave nice comments. They're all outstanding this year!

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Tue, 15 Oct 2019 21:27:55 GMT

Getting close to the end of Blood to Bleed finally I think. The actual ending is written; the epilogue lingers. I never set out to write something quite so long, it just kind of happens.

Wrapped up my second original novel, too. Cleanup begins in the new year.

Nanowrimo on the way, I have uhhh some rough
ideas
that I should develop a little better but this month is chugging along at breakneck speed in a way I didn't count on.

I still have two editing jobs on my plate that I started midyear, not that I'm complaining, but I'd figured they'd have their whole manuscripts to me by now. I'm making it my Saturday habit, though. On the other hand, I've been painting watercolor, and I'm enjoying it, but I'd like to get a few more minis painted before I fully commit to that as my artistic go-to. Been volunteering once a week with a horse rescue, just in general I've got more commitments than I usually allow myself but that's just how time goes sometimes, isn't it?

And beyond that, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning. I have no real time for anything else.

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Tue, 25 Jun 2019 02:07:33 GMT

Finished Reading:
Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie - This was quite good, and I enjoyed the audiobook performance, and feel that the movie was quite a good representation of the story. It certainly wasn't challenging, but kind of a fun take on 'whodunnit' that I find satisfying.

The Dispatcher, John Scalzi - I've only recently started reading Scalzi's stuff at all and I'm kind of mad at myself for it. Not only does he really have a grip on the longform, but his short stories run at rocket pace without assuming you're stupid or leaving you behind. There's more from this author in my future.

Started:
The Sheltering Sky, Paul Bowles - I rocketed through about half of this book without stop while camping between tues-thurs last week. I had brought some Melanie Rawn fantasy novel with me but when it turned out to be classic 80's 'women are useless men think only with their dicks' fantasy I was glad I'd brought a backup. I think I actually have this in audiobook as well, so it'll be interesting to navigate the jumpover, but so far I've enjoyed what I have read. It's not really a 'thriller' but more about white fear of the other, which is interesting & still very relevant.

The Last Policeman, Ben H. Winters - I love this. It's such a great take on what might otherwise be depressing but it gives us a great, grounded protagonist who's still young and starting out, and throws him into a hellscape but he keeps his chin up. I respect that about Henry Palace, and the setting is just a great, manic ride into a future that feels real and possible.

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Mon, 10 Jun 2019 23:19:28 GMT

Finished Reading:
Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen - I didn't really like anyone in this book and I just kind of wished they'd all stop being mean to each other and realize how stupid they all are, but I respect Jane Austen's ability to make me feel that 200 years later, because I get the impression I SHOULD feel that way about the whole of the society at the time. Her writing is good, the characters were all uniquely conveyed and well expressed, they were just all terrible people. A couple of folks have suggested Northanger Abbey to me and I'll give it a shot after I've put some distance between me and the old P&P.

A Scanner Darkly, Phillip K. Dick - This is a reread of one that I've loved for a long time. There's something about Arctor and his slow ceasing to function as a self, and only then could he be rendered into a tool for the use of others, as well as the general absurdism prominent throughout the whole book and the series of interactions between he & his friends that resonates with me. Dick's 'futurepast' sci-fi is still some of my favourite today, where he imagines a future of video rentals and tape recorders and treats the people as the means through which to express the future. I enjoyed this just as much this time as I have every other time.

Still Reading:
The Stoneware Monkey - Currently the bathroom book. I chug through it int the tub.

The Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison - this is hard hard hard, and I can only listen for a few hours at a time. The writing is good, so good you can't help really feeling the impact of each event. Ellison is amazing at conveying the sometimes near-panic state of what the protagonist's existence must have been like and I feel like it's an important novel to read as part of self development, but it really dicks my anxiety hard to listen to it for too long, so I'm taking it in chunks.

Just Started:
Murder on the Orient Express, Agatha Christie - I'm trying to pepper in some female authors to break up that list of '100 books to read before you die' which even with some modifications is still a sausagefestival (not that kind of sausage festival, toki.) This seems like a safe bet even though I've never much loved Poirot, I did enjoy the recent film adaptation of this.

Orphan Train - On the fence about this one. The book shop ladies recommended it to me but it doesn't really jive with me so far. I'll give it a few more chapters and see how it goes.

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Thu, 30 May 2019 03:13:37 GMT

Batou's wikipedia page says he's a tsundere and I'm like 'yes, but why the fuck would you plague me with this information'.

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Tue, 28 May 2019 16:01:11 GMT

Finished Reading:
Canticle for Leibowitz - An oldie that I was recommended, and that I enjoyed. Mostly by virtue of the fact that there were no women in it, so I could stand it the whole way through. Old Sci-Fi doesn't always age well, but this kind of reminded me of Neal Stephensen's Anathem, in a way. Pretty before-it's-time in attitude and an interesting take on dystopia/future sci-fi/knowledge monks.

Dark, Sacred Night— no real surprise I enjoyed this Bosch novel. I'm really warming up to Ballard, I think I have The Late Show somewhere and I need to catch up on that one. Some of the issues dealt with are a little tricky-sticky in some ways, especially regarding Ballard's past but I can get around the parts that could maybe be handled better in a different way since they're few and far between and Connelly is otherwise pretty savvy in not being a misogynist.

Blood Work— Picked this up so I could get back to reading The Scarecrow, then finished it, then realized what I'd meant to listen to was The Poet because that's the other Jack McEvoy book, and I only remembered McCaleb 'cause he was in one of the earlier Bosch novels and wow I read a lot of Michael Connolly.

Working on Now:
Pride and Prejudice—On my list of '100 to read before you die', and I think Austen has a very good talent for making me hate everyone (which I get the distinct impression I should) in her works. The writing itself is perfectly serviceable and I'm trying to take it as a satire but I have a very limited sense of humor (my own failing) and mostly I just hope everyone gets eaten by a shark.

A Scanner Darkly (reread)—Definitely one of Dick's works that I've read before but it's a favourite and much like All The King's Men and Silver Metal Lover (yes they are quite different), it's one I come back to every so often. I think a lot of people identify with Deckhard or Anderton, but I think disillusioned and doomed Bob Arctor is strangely more my speed; with his compassion born of hard-won experience and his brain slowly scrambling in his head as he fights against a plot his government wants him to both solve, and yet they're the cause of.

On Deck:
I kinda want some Fantasy to slake my thirst, maybe I'll do Masterharper of Pern (reread) if I feel like punishing myself. Or maybe I'll just faff off and write some.

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Thu, 28 Mar 2019 17:51:04 GMT

Reading:
-Completed the second Captive Prince which I liked much better than the first, but I respect that sometimes you need to take an entire novel to set up the sexual tension before you break it, because...well, I do that too. (finished)
-The Stoneware Monkey, which is absolutely ridiculous and seems more to be like 'let's mosey about tampering with the crime scene' but I suppose it's a quaint english mystery for all that. I began reading it in Winslow and brought it home with me, I've been chugging slowly away at it mostly in the bath tub. (about half thru)
-I picked up one of Michael Connelly's non-Bosch stories, but I grabbed one from the middle and I think I'm going to go back and read The Poet before I finish the last Jack McEvoy novel.
-Canticle for Liebowitz, which I'm going to give a try.

Writing:
Finally updated It's in my Blood to Bleed!

Roque Guinart - Person of Interest, La Mancha 'verse Donnelly/Szymanski fix it fic centered around Proteus and All In, and still trying to keep these guys alive past the end of season 2.

Cold Was The Ground - Final(!) pass edits progressing apace, which puts me on track to have it fully edited for self-pub by my birthday. I want this very badly!! I just have two chapters left to clean up.
I was going to do that for Camp Nano, but I am definitely in that final push of 'get it done' feeling so I may work on the sequel for Camp Nano instead. My goals this year are

CWG finished final draft ready by may 28th.
FULL, complete draft of the sequel MI by November. I have about 30,000 words of it currently, I just need to slap myself until an ending emerges and then I can begin to tame a proper story out of the fucker.

So maybe with that in mind I'll do MI for camp nano instead. and/or use it to clean up and finish the fanfic stuff I've been working on.

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Sun, 17 Feb 2019 06:00:01 GMT

People who survived final fantasy 7 according to extended canon:

Rufus Shinra
Tseng
Don Corneo
Hojo

People who survived getting stabbed by Sephiroth:

Tifa
Cloud
Tseng

People who probably actually died?

Heidigger
Scarlet
I don't know, Palmer got hit by a truck and then came back and vanished, I like to think a plate fell on his face.
President Shinra Sr
Aerith

So like the only two people who actually died from getting stabbed by Sephiroth, my question is like is Aerith literally made out of tissue paper? I know lots of folks have said 'of course you'd die from a giant sword getting stabbed through you' but contextually that doesn't seem to be the case, given the survival rate is greater than half out of those stabbed. (3/5 stabbed survived). I mean clearly I'm thinking too much but the postgame canon seems to heavily imply that the mortality rate of 7 wasn't nearly as high as originally thought.

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Ficlet February Week 1 &1/2 Roundup

Mon, 11 Feb 2019 04:20:49 GMT

Day 1 - "Telepathy".
Fandom: Person of Interest.
Pairing/Rating: John/Harold -G
[Wireless Connection @ AO3]

Day 2 - "Blank Book"
Fandom: Detroit: Become Human
Pairing/Rating: Hank & Connor - G
[Family Recipe @AO3]

Day 3 - "Vampire AU"
Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Pairing/Rating: Rey/Rose - G
[Trope Chic @AO3]

Day 4 - "Blind Date"
Fandom: Final Fantasy 7
Pairing/Rating: Tseng/Rufus - M
[Guide Dog@AO3]

Day 5 - "Handcuffs"
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Pairing/Rating: Bruce/Tony/Pepper - NYR
[Fic in Progress]

Day 6 - "Nonverbal Communication:
Fandom: Man from UNCLE (2015)
Pairing/Rating: Napoleon/Illya - M
[The Golden Silence Affair@AO3]

Day 7 - "Vanilla"
Fandom: The X-Files
Pairing/Rating: Mulder/Scully - G
[Tribute@AO3]

Day 8 - "Crossover"
Fandom: Final Fantasy 15 (Star Wars X-over)
Pairing/Rating: Gladio/Ignis - G
[Memory of Light@AO3]

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Wed, 06 Feb 2019 18:27:53 GMT

February!
Doing:

February Ficlet Challenge only I got caught up in an old fandom on day 4 and now I'm in 'trying to write for other fandoms while re-reading all the pieces that were so important to me in this fandom, oh yes and there's new canon material as of last month as well ' hell.
Assembling (with intent to paint) Reikenor the Grimhailer as well as some banshees for my Nighthaunt fixation.
Working on Blood to Bleed god damnit
WORKING OUT LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY WHO EVEN AM I

Reading:

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
Automatic Detective
Zeroes by Chuck Wendig

Playing:

Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts 3 (watching it being played)

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Tue, 15 Jan 2019 04:22:52 GMT

I'm consoling myself after Arm Day with the thought that maybe someday if I'm not a dumpy wreck I won't die alone.

In all seriousness gonna get those henry cavill arms.

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Start of the Year State of the Stuff

Sat, 05 Jan 2019 17:46:09 GMT

So currently I am hardcore KonMarie method-ing most of my house. It took a little while to get into the 'get rid of it' zone but I'm feeling it now. I've done clothes, books, etc. My closet is organized, I donated an entire large trash bag full of t-shirts and kept only the ones I feel excited and happy to wear (as most of what I wear is T-Shirts, fuck you ex) I'm already enthusiastic about there being no possible way for me to build up an 'all day laundry-athon' anymore.

Speaking of my ex, that's where I'm like struggling is you know, still discovering things I no longer have that I was pretty sure I once did, and digging through pictures of us together from ... eons ago. Physical pictures. I've decided I'm starting to really fucking hate physical pictures with a wild passion. Digital photos are fine, easy to put up, just as easy to delete once that phase of your life is over. Physical photos crawl out of the depths of your belongings from 10+ years ago, oozing back into your life and then you must sit down and manually sort them back out. I found two old albums full of photos from the late 90's, early oughts, cosplay shit, all the shit, and when I look at them it's no wonder my self esteem was terrible (still is about a lot of things; esp. my body which must always be completely covered by at least three layers, never shorts, and only just recently have I been able to wear tank tops (but ONLY with 2 further undershirt layers). I look at the old pictures of my ex flirting with legitimately everyone, and I know I was the one taking the pictures. I was a stupid teenager at the time, but she was always shopping for the next thing. Of course I constantly felt like shit. When the next person didn't manifest, she just dropped herself into WOW and refused to emerge until I might as well have not existed.

It was a time. And now the beginning of that time might as well have come back and slapped me in the face. I keep one picture up on my wall of me & her to remind me not to forget what kind of lovely face it can be that hurt me, and what I looked like when I was being hurt. The rest I was extremely unprepared for.

There are some pictures in there of my cats (at the time) that I want to keep, and some family photos that worked their way in as well. Else I'd have dumped the whole lot into the trash unsorted.

Next; Living Room, Kitchen and Garage. I want to find a new solution for my Dungeons & Dragons stuff in the living room. Right now it's all together & near the place where we play but it looks like garbage and I don't care for how it's currently displayed. I may co-opt the rack that currently has a bunch of extra kitchen appliances (the stuff that doesn't get used as often; rice maker, Ice Cream Maker, etc) and find a way to make that work. The cook books will have to move as well, but I think once I dig into the cabinets in the kitchen I'll find a bunch of shit that can go directly into the garbage.

Like that old box of Bpal samples that I have from 10 years ago. I know it's there somewhere....

Signing off

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Dulcinea 4-5/5 (Complete)

Sat, 15 Dec 2018 20:02:48 GMT

Fic: Dulcinea

Fandom: Person of Interest

Rating: E

Summary: A 'nobody dies' fix-it fic. Donnelly/Szymanski.

Link to Dulcinea on AO3.

Author's Note: And now it's done! ~~Except for the fact they immediately killed Szymanski again after implying he was crooked gdi.~~ And now this section of their tumultuous life has been repaired.

& Accompanying Playlist on Youtube.

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Dulcinea 3/(4-5)

Wed, 12 Dec 2018 06:41:32 GMT

Fic: Dulcinea
Fandom: Person of Interest
Rating: T (but it will proceed to E in the final chapter)
Summary: A 'nobody dies' fix-it fic. Donnelly/Szymanski.

Link to Dulcinea on AO3.

Author's Note: Uhhh what the fuck, I've been sitting on this fic practically finished this whole time. I'm polishing up the last bits now, and it should solidly round itself out at either 4 or 5 chapters depending on how long re-writes make things. I apologize if there's any jarring change from how I wrote 5 years ago to how I write now.

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Things To Read Before I Die, 2018 REDUX edition

Sat, 08 Dec 2018 06:10:18 GMT

( Because I keep losing this damn post from 8 years ago... )

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I paint tiny dudes, December Edition

Fri, 07 Dec 2018 04:34:35 GMT

Working on Zenithal priming to try and increase my mad year one painting skills. I'm also approximately 3 years old so I've named these three "Bone Daddy", "Behold the Dickholder" and "DOES THIS SMELL FUNNY TO YOU?"

I finished these guys recently and I'm ridiculously proud of them, and I think the challenge of the difficult models taught me a lot! They're GW's Night Haunt units, but don't ask me anything else about Warhammer because I just wanna paint the dudes I like looking at.

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Okay so, a little about me

Tue, 04 Dec 2018 16:24:00 GMT

In list format because I think that was a thing that used to be cool.
-Fandom interests are varied and I tend to hyperfocus in a rotational manner. Right now I've just finished Detroit: Become Human, I'm playing The Witcher 3 (I never played one or two, oops?) and also playing Uncharted when I feel like punishing myself. TV shows are all over the place, I try to keep up with what was new like 5 years ago. I enjoy Critical Role and The Adventure Zone.

-Hobbies: Writing, and I've gotten into Miniature Painting this year. I also DM for Dungeons & Dragons, which was my gateway drug to miniature painting. I'm also a fountain pen enthusiast I guess? I write most first drafts by hand in pen, anyway. I used to do a lot of text roleplay, but my time for that has been limited.

-Life: I caretake for my elderly grandparent, I work part time in a vendor type job, I keep reptiles & breed Crested Geckos. If for any reason you're afraid of pictures of snakes (I promise never to post images of them eating, but sometimes I like to put up pictures of them hanging around doing regular snake stuff) just let me know and I'll make a concerted effort to keep them behind a cut. Usually I'll post gecko, frog, and lizard pictures without a cut, because they're just so stinkin' cute. I also have four cats. Yes, this was a mistake, no it was not on purpose, life just handed them to me. (I love them though.)

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Wed, 13 Sep 2017 06:23:26 GMT

However many years later and I'm still not sure where Cid pulled that machine gun out of.

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